Down the Rabbit Hole

So I have resigned myself to one fact – to look for an editor.

Or should I say, I had.

Now however, I’m having a nervous breakdown.

I picked up the same book I’ve been reading and re-reading for months, a how-to guide on how to self-publish and every time I pick it up I get more and more confused. This is not a reflection on the guide, it’s comprehensive, it’s easy to ready, it has everything.

It’s me.

I feel like I’ve stumbled upon that Cheshire Cat and my first thought was, “Yes! Someone to help me!” And now I’m looking around at all the other people who understand, who know what they’ve to do next or understand it all and I’m wondering if it’s just me?

I feel so confused about what I need to do next.

I have a finished book. Two, in fact.

And I have some money to go forward with.

But then there’s talk of tax which I have never done in my entire life, I’ve never had a job, I’ve never had to even think about tax; marketing plans; blogging about your book, but why would I do that, what do I say about it; reviewers? I don’t understand, why am I researching reviewers??; and then it goes on to talk about converting and pdf and this is where I go in search of whiskey.

I get so confused I end up thinking “book? what does this word mean? where is my dictionary? I need to find out what thei word ‘book’ means?”

“Taylor? Who is that? Is that me? What is a ‘me’? Where did I put that dictionary? What’s a ‘dictionary’?”

I thought, “Okay, I clearly can’t do this. So, Plan B – agent.”

Five minutes on the website looking for a “how to” on finding an agent and I’m now looking at job openings in normal everyday jobs that I will hate but those are confusing enough.

If anyone needs me I’ll be in the corner with a blanket and some Mikado.


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